💙 FTM
👨👩👦 Surprise baby boy
⏰ Born at 40+2 on 09.07.20 at 10:55pm
⚖️ 7lbs 11
💉 Spontaneous labour, Gas & Air
I can’t believe it’s my turn to share my positive birth story! I absolutely loved reading these whilst pregnant and would read a couple every morning before getting out of bed, which really helped my mindset and made me excited for my own birth.
All through my pregnancy I was classed as ‘low risk’ and had no issues at all, other than going in to hospital for the odd episode of reduced movements which I think every pregnant woman has at some point.
So I was shocked to learn that, at my 40 week midwife appointment at 40+1, my blood pressure was suddenly reading high.
My midwife said that when you go overdue you’re at higher risk of pre-eclampsia which causes high blood pressure, so she was keen to keep monitoring me and told me that she’d pop round to my house the next day to check my blood pressure again.
So the next day at 40+2, I woke up, had a McDonald’s breakfast and hoovered the house with no impending labour signs at all other than the usual dull period pain that I’d been getting for a few weeks anyway.
I sat down on the sofa to have some lunch and watch Netflix, and suddenly started feeling a lot of pressure very low down, and was having ‘tightenings’ that weren’t anything I’d ever felt before, and weren’t like the period pain that I’d previously had.
I tried not to get too excited, but went on to my Freya app and started to casually time them whilst doing the up-breathing that I’d learnt on the hypnobirthing course.
As expected, they weren’t really in a pattern yet, however I noticed that I hadn’t really felt the baby move much all morning, so as I was overdue (you have to be much more aware of reduced movements once you go overdue as the risk of placental abruption is higher), I thought it was best to phone the maternity unit and go down to be monitored.
I text my midwife to tell her not to worry about coming round as they’ll check my blood pressure at the hospital.
Steve was at work and I knew he was in a really important meeting. He would have answered his phone as I was due the baby any day, but I didn’t want to bother him when I wasn’t sure if I was definitely in labour or not, so I drove myself in, still having tightenings, and arrived at the hospital 5-10 minutes later at about 2pm.
They hooked me up to the monitor to check baby’s heartbeat trace, and did my blood pressure. Baby was all ok but unfortunately my blood pressure was still high 😭
They said they wanted to keep me in, and transfer me to the ante-natal ward where a doctor would come to discuss induction with me because of my high blood pressure. I did say that I’m pretty sure I’m already in early labour, so is an induction really necessary? But they kept saying that what I was experiencing was probably just Braxton hicks.
2 hours later, after being on the most uncomfortable bed in the day assessment unit whilst still having tightenings and using my up-breathing, I was transferred to the ante-natal ward. I phoned Steve to explain what was happening and to tell him that he needed to come and take the car home as my parking was up.
When I arrived on the ward my tightenings were getting really uncomfortable and regular now.
I’d been religiously doing the positive birth company’s hypnobirthing course and reading the book, and just felt like I couldn’t get in the zone and do all the stuff I’d wanted to do at home during early labour. Obviously it’s quite unsettling to go in to hospital for an appointment, and then be told you aren’t going home again before having the baby.
I didn’t have my bag with me, any of my relaxing things for the hypnobirthing, nothing!
Once settled on the ward I phoned Steve and asked him to bring my hospital bag in so I could put my headphones in and listen to the positive affirmations on the Freya app.
He met me outside 20 minutes later and I had 4 contractions whilst speaking to him outside for 10 minutes, some of which I had to lean on him for because they were getting quite painful now.
I then said I’d call him with any updates, and headed back in to wait for the doctor to discuss induction with me. About an hour later the doctor arrived and I said ‘are you sure I need an induction, because I’m already having contractions’? But he said they would still recommend one. At this point I still hadn’t even been examined yet, and they weren’t keen to examine me as they said I would probably just be 1cm and would end up being disappointed.
I used my B.R.A.I.N and politely ended up declining an induction because I knew it wasn’t the right option as I was sure I was already in labour.
I then asked him if I could go home as I literally just wanted to labour at home for as long as possible, and sit in the bath.
He said I could go home as I’ve declined an induction, but that I’d need to return the next day to the day unit for blood pressure monitoring.
I phoned Steve and asked him to come and get me as I was coming home!
Ten minutes later he phoned to say he was outside. The midwife came in to discharge me and I stood up to get my bags.
Just as I stood up, I had 2 really intense contractions and the midwife could see by my face that I was very uncomfortable. They still hadn’t examined me since I’d arrived at the hospital, so labour still hadn’t been confirmed.
But at that point, the midwife said ‘actually, I will examine you before you leave’.
On examining me, she said ‘no wonder you’re so uncomfortable, you’re 5cm dilated!’
At that point I burst in to tears and my midwife friend who was (luckily!) on shift came and gave me a hug and said she couldn’t believe I’d just done that with no pain relief at all!
I guess it’s mind over matter, as I didn’t know for sure that I was definitely in labour till that point, so even though I was in a lot of discomfort, I hadn’t felt the need for pain relief or even really thought about having any.
Things seemed to escalate fairly quickly from then on. It was like a switch suddenly flicked as soon as they said I was 5cm.
They brought me some gas and air straight away, and I phoned Steve to tell him to go home again and get the baby’s hospital bag and come back and he would then be allowed straight in! (Due to covid, they were only letting birth partners come in once you’re at least 4cm dilated and in ‘established labour’).
I also felt my waters start trickling at that point, and then my contractions really intensified, to the point where I suddenly couldn’t really speak during them.
I was told that I was being transferred to delivery suite and that the room was just being cleaned and wouldn’t be long.
My friend on shift knew how disappointed I was that I could no longer have my water birth in the Haven Birthing Suite (the midwife led unit for low risk mums) due to my sudden high blood pressure, so she re-arranged delivery suite and gave me the only pool room and it was no different to the birthing suite rooms!
I was so grateful, and as soon as I was wheeled in to that room and saw Steve waiting for me, I felt so relieved.
He’d already been in there for about 5 minutes with our midwife Harriet who was lovely! Steve had told her how I wanted the room, and between them they’d dimmed all the lights, turned on all the electric tealights and put my spa music birthing playlist on.
To be fair, I was in so much pain by that point that everything was such a blur, but it was lovely anyway.
A few minutes after getting in to the room I started to feel a lot of pressure low down, which can be a sign of the transitioning stage where baby starts moving down. I went and sat on the loo for a bit, and had 3 strong contractions while I was in there.
Steve and the midwife could hear me, and I remember the midwife being worried that I was going to have the baby on the toilet, and asking if she could come in and check 🤣 Luckily that didn’t happen!
When I came out of the toilet I briefly remember her offering to fill the birthing pool for me, and, to my disgust looking back now, I turned it down! I’m honestly so annoyed with myself as I was SO set on a water birth, and am worried in case I don’t get the option to have one next time. But at the time I was in so much pain that all I could bring myself to do was just lay on the bed. You never know how you’re going to be during labour till you’re in that amount of pain, so I did what was right for me at the time.
About an hour after getting in to the delivery room, I briefly remember Harriet examining me and telling me I was now 8cm but that there were still some membranes in front of the baby’s head. I‘d gone from being 5cm on the ante-natal ward, to 8cm, in the space of an hour and a half! For a first time mum that’s really rare so I was very lucky that I was progressing quickly (even if it was due to my high blood pressure!).
I remember asking for an epidural at that point. I’d heard lots about the transitioning stage, where women are close to pushing and suddenly lose control and say they can’t do it anymore, and that’s what I briefly did at that point. However, I kept remembering my favourite positive affirmation in my head which really helped “my surges are not stronger than me because they are me”.
Luckily, Steve and Harriet were also great at reassuring me and telling me that I’d got to 8cm with basically no pain relief so I can do it without an epidural (I was barely using the gas and air as it made me feel weird, so would take it out of my mouth mid contraction!).
Harriet requested an epidural for me anyway, but she told me the doctors were back to back in theatre so it was highly unlikely that there would be time for me to have one (I didn’t have one in the end and I’m glad that the option was taken away from me as I knew I ideally wanted to try and do it without one).
The rest of the time seemed to pass in a blur but suddenly I felt the urge to push and Harriet told me to just go with what my body was telling me (I’d also learnt a lot about this with the hypnobirthing).
I asked her how long it usually takes for a first time mum at the pushing stage and she said 1 to 2 hours. I could have cried at this point because I just wanted the pain to end, so I’d never been more determined to do something in my life, and knew I had to put everything in to getting him out quickly.
On my next contraction I could suddenly feel all of my muscles pushing everything downwards, trying to expel the baby without me even doing anything, it was pretty amazing.
The contractions were pretty much back to back at this point, and I literally pushed so hard and could feel his head getting lower with each one.
It only felt like half an hour later and his head finally made an appearance. Once the head was out, the rest of him shot out very quickly 🤣 He was born at 10:55pm.
Steve announced the gender to me which was amazing and well worth the wait (even though I was pretty convinced it was a boy!), and Joel was placed straight on my chest for skin to skin.
I was so overwhelmed and shocked that I didn’t cry at this point (even though I always cried at one born every minute!). I was just glad he was here!
About 20 minutes later, Steve phoned his mum to tell her she was a Nanny and that’s the point where he cried, which then set me off!
I had the injection to deliver the placenta quicker, and I couldn’t believe how big the placenta was! Your tummy feels so much lighter once the placenta is out.
I had a second degree tear which isn’t classed as a major tear, so I didn’t need to go to theatre, they were able to stitch me up in the delivery room. It took about an hour to do the stitches so Steve had skin to skin with Joel whilst I got stitched up.
We were then able to stay in the delivery room till 7am (a total of 8 hours after the birth!) when my midwife finished her shift and I got transferred to the ward so Steve had to go home (Dad’s sadly aren’t allowed on the wards due to covid) 😢
That 8 hours in the room after the birth was amazing, and I wish I could go back and do that part again. We just ate all the snacks, kept my relaxing birthing playlist on, dressed Joel in his first outfit and I had a shower.
It felt like we were only in the room for an hour, time goes so quickly!
Once I was transferred to the ward on the Friday morning I had to stay in for 24 hours to establish breastfeeding and have my blood pressure monitored, so didn’t go home till Saturday morning. Bringing him home was very surreal.
I saw my birthing ball and cried 🤣 I think it was the shock of the fact that I always thought I’d be in early labour at home, but instead I went in for an appointment at the hospital and never came home before having the baby.
I’d planned my birth, (even planning to shave my legs at home during early labour so they were smooth 🤣🤣) and it didn’t go to plan, but no ones ever does. I was at the hospital completely unprepared, but I still had a lovely and un-traumatic birth and was very lucky that I didn’t need any interventions.
The positive birth company’s book and digital course really did help, and I believe that it’s down to them that I was able to give birth with virtually no pain relief at all.
We were built to do this, and it was the most empowering experience of my life, even during the pandemic ❤️❤️❤️